my friend me .
There once was a girl. And her name was Maria. Maria was a amazing baker well known for her cake. Her cake was a delicious chocolate butter cream recipe.
The secret? Jalapeno. Everyone loved and bought it.
When they brought it home to their families, they would eat it and say “Oh this cake is so good, but sooooo spicy!!!” But then, there was one person who ate it.
It was a particularly bad batch of cake, but Maria served it. The man spat it out.
Salt and jalapeno delight, tamale! But the people of the village kept telling him to go back and try again. So he went. He sat down in the large wire chair made out of wire, duct tape and cookies. He said to the waitress, “I’ll have a piece,” This time Maria herself brought the cake out to him.
It was love at first sight. Maria had put in a little less jalapeno this time, and so it wasn’t too spicy. The man asked Maria to come to the park with him but Maria replied with a sharp “No thank you,”. She knew he wanted the recipe. She used 3 super spicy jalapenos, nine hot peppers, wire and the rest of a normal cake recipe. And she baked a cupcake so hot and so dangerous. And she hurled it straight at his horrible face. But he dodged it and ran out of the shop. How ever this man did not want the recipe, he wanted her love so he wrote her address on his hand and sent her a note that said the following:
“Dearest Maria, My love for you blazes in my heart, bringing a glacier to a steaming boil. Will you take my hand in marriage? Jacob”
“Oh this is useless” he cried. And slowly, carefully folded the note and placed it carefully under his pillow.But then he realized he must send it. So he put it into a envelope, and wrote her address, then pushed it into the outgoing mail slot. And waited.
but the next day the postman knocked on his door and said, ”Excuse me sir, but you didn’t put a return address on this envelope” So Jacob went back inside to put his address on the back but it had rained the night so the letter was sopping wet. he wrote a new note and it said:
Hey girl,
You are very pretty and I just want to get to know you.
So could you please just go out with me?
- Jacob
Then he wrote another note to compare. It read:
“My gorgeous Maria,
Will you marry me?
All my love,
Jacob”
P.S. I don’t know you at all so this is just a joke :)
Then he put the proper postage and address and sent it away.
Maria ran to Jacob and kissed him. “Oh Jacob,” she said, “Marry me.”
But as it turns out it was all just Jacob’s dream.
What really happened was, Maria opened it and read the two notes and shouted and cried and ran to her mother and said ”Oh mother, why would someone DO this to me? I’m nice, and oh, mother!” Her mother read the note and exclaimed,
”Oh, dear, this is a compliment! he wants to
Court you!”
Meanwhile, Jacob went to Maria’s house and looked at it. Oh, what have I done? Maria is scarcely 15, and I’m over 30!
But Maria only looked like she was 15, she really was 21.
she picked up her pen and ink and wrote:
Yes Jacob I will go to the park with you.
However there shall be NO talk about baking, or cooking for that matter.
I will see you at the park at 5:30 on Friday.
-Maria
Just to be nice she also added
Oh hideous Jacob,
I absolutely HATE you! Please do not speak to me ever again.
-The lady who threw a cupcake at you
P.S. I have never met you so I can not say this in truth, so this to is a joke!
***
At the park, at exactly 5:30, she walked to the park gate.
Almost 20 minutes later, Jacob showed up. She was silent. He chattered away. “... and so, BLAH BLAH BLAH, BLAH BLAH!”. Eventually, Maria had had enough, so she said “Jacob, I need to get home, Good night,” and turned on her heel.
“Wait!” Jacob cried out.”I need to tell you something.”
“OK, fine” Maria sighed.”what is it?”
“Well, Maria, I think that I love you.” he exclaimed.
”Well the problem is, I don’t love you Jacob!” Maria huffed and ran off.
Jacob walked to her house. He took a single, dead red rose and laid it at the door of her house. Attached was a note, reading
“Maria, I’m sorry. Don’t forgive me. This is my love for you represented in this rose.
-Jacob”
Maria was shocked by the note and flower. She hadn’t meant that she would never love him, she just said that she was not ready yet. Jacob decided to forget about her. He moved on eventually, and married a woman named Didi. Maria moved on too. She stopped worrying about how she hurt Jacob feelings. She married her love of baking and stayed single forever.
The End
Note from me (Sidney)
You may have seen the battle of will between me and my friend.
I had to fight a lot to keep this from becoming a soap opera.
and she had to fight to keep me from changing her Ideas!
No offense to my friend I thought she did a great job!
